FALSE PLEDGES

I lost my dream the moment I looked into your eyes

Everybody wants to belong to something and I wanted to belong to you and you

I thought perhaps that you were older and I was less than wise

I didn’t want to look past the irony in order to see what is true

I should have seen long ago that the fake smiles and the hidden feelings do not serve a purpose

We will never again be able to hide behind what once was

For the rest of my life I am a whole human being – me and not us

I know there seems to be a lot of “why” and not a whole lot of “because”

You are my family. You are the cocoon in which I should fit and yet I don’t belong

Tears stream down my face as I am being asked to let go of Christmas and Thanksgiving, birthdays and reunions

I have to find a new paradigm, a new place to call home

It’s both that I choose not your manipulation and I no longer have the constitution

What if you would not have chosen the path of least resistance?

Perhaps you would have found it more rewarding than sitting in your filth?

Forgiveness is so difficult when I am hurt at your insistence

The flower that you cultivated – long ago began to wilt

The end of this game is near – soon I will have learned this lesson for good

And HIS truth will reign beyond all subversive sharp edges

Perhaps I never really understood

Why I still love you in spite of all of your false pledges.