The Great Divide

I see You coming and I run the other way
I hide from the truths You want to write on the other side of my heart
When You look at me and ask me where I have been I just don't know what to say

Where can I hide from You? Where can I run where I don't hear the promptings in Your voice?
You push me to the very last edge of myself
I would love to believe that in these things my heart hasn't already made its choice
But long ago I said goodbye to that kind of wealth

My head hurts trying to figure out the details of Your master plan
And I can't. It doesn't make sense. It never makes sense!
Sometimes people look at me strangely and it causes me to wonder who I am
Somehow I think it was easier just riding the fence

I find myself more consumed with You and less directed by what my plan was
Yet I know one day soon I will wake up and find myself in awe of You and wondering once again how I ever felt like I knew You before
I guess that is just what God does
When you push away your boat from the shore

Obedience means saying yes even when it puts me in an awkward place
Walking forward without removing the blindfold from my eyes
Maybe risking embarrassment. Vulnerability. Exposure. Grace?
Inviting in the kind of access to my heart I sometimes despise.

Your dogged perseverance in my life has not gone unnoticed
I am overwhelmed by Your pursuit of me
Sometimes I get so frustrated, I am afraid I have missed
The point of Your serenity

Laying down, laying down, laying down and surrender
I'm not sure if it ever comes naturally
Perhaps one day, Abba Father, I will be overcome
By the bond that exists between You and me.

You are Mine and I am Thine

Reaching deep into that part of my soul that has long been covered by fear, anger and angst
Pop. Pound. Shiver. Speak. Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. I'll hurt myself before you hurt me.
You tell me that I can have rest if I only gaze upon Your face
I can't seem to have faith in what I see

I can't live like this any longer - constantly fearful for the state of my heart
Constantly trying to manipulate, control, assume, imagine, and writhe beneath the unknown
Perhaps today I can let you in, capture my thoughts, have a new start
And You will be proud to see how much I have grown

Abba YOU are the author and the creator of my soul
How can I love You so much yet believe that You will hand me snakes?
Lay waste to my heart. Bear naked my soul. Pick out my seams. Make me whole.
Do whatever it takes.

I stare into the grand face of the great unknown
In every other area and most of the time I smile with glee
Yet, when it comes to my heart I want to see only the seeds that I am sown
I don't want anything that I can't see

Abba, forgive my short-sighted eyes and my faithless mind
Remove the hindrances that keep me far from You
I know You are faithful. You are true. You are wise. You are kind
It's me that just doesn't have a clue

Love me, Abba, with a love so fierce it removes my inward gaze
So I can love You and Yours
You are mine and I am thine and I want to see Your face through my selfish haze
Lord, let me walk through those doors.