Waste Not My Heart

Wouldn't it be easier if I could change you into the man I need you to be?
I wouldn't have to adust my thoughts and expectations or look at my pain
I wouldn't have to count backwards from three
I wouldn't have to stand outside in the pouring rain

I don't trust my instincts but neither do I trust you
And I'm not too sure about God either
I would love to move forward but really I have no idea how to pull through
The colors in my eyes have changed again and I can't stop long enough to take a breather

My heart will absolutely break waiting for you to prove me wrong
Yet at the same I time refuse to give you a chance
I'll sing the melody and the harmony to this same old song
My heart will die waiting for romance

Do you expect me to be more lovely and more temperate?
You may find me more cynical and less willing to believe
I'll sacrifice myself on the alter of those who are desperate
I'll stand for those who are unable to conceive

So I want you to be you to be the man that I need you to be
Even if that is not who you are
I feel inflexible and scared and unwilling to see
That you will never be more than subpar

In all of the chaos, in all of the noise
In my deepest desires I want to love you
It is probably true that if I had a choice
I would eventually choose to believe what is true

Abba, I think I am a hopeless case - a hopeless case and a wanderlust soul
I throw my heart to the wolves
Protect me, engage me, and make me whole
Waste not my heart to a fool