Soil Forever Tilled

To move in step with You I must abandon myself

And I can no longer see myself through my eyes

I can barely recall why I used to regard my plan with such esteem, why I used to try to circumvent Your plan with such stealth

Why did I used to replace Your truth with my silly lies?

I am in such a broken place and I need Your utterance

I need You to speak on my behalf

There is a difference between yearning for what I want and just yearning for You: I am learning that there is no such thing as contingencies and there is no such thing as clairvoyance

Makes me wonder how many times in one calendar day I make You laugh

I used to think that purpose was so nebulous and mission was ill-defined

That my life just really wasn’t that important

I may not be able to do take-backs or push rewind

However, I can speak truth and I can name the elephant

I can follow the sound of Your voice to the ends of the earth

And I will

This life is filled with sorrow and filled with mirth

Yet through the seasons I learn to be still

Surrender is a choice and also a posture to be learned for the rest of days

Funny how I thought it would be a quota filled

Something I will learn in a million ways

A soil forever tilled.