Everybody has a breaking point. My breaking point has been about a month in coming.
A relationship with God ebbs and flows through different seasons just like any other relationship. However, the relationship with God adds a different dynamic, because it requires complete surrender. Absolute surrender. Surrender past the point when you didn't think you had anything left to give....and then He asks you to give more. He asks you to do more. He asks you to operate in a space wherein you are no longer using your own strength but you are utterly reliant on Him for your day to day.
Surrender past the point when you think that you are absolutely exhausted and unable to surrender that thing - that thing you can't live without. That vice you can't survive without. That piece of control you thought that you had. Those delusions and illusions. And then He asks you to give them up.
I find that I am in a period of surrender.......and I am not the only one. God is doing something interesting and exciting around here. I'm not sure what - but I feel an anticipation that can only be God-breathed and God-activated.
We are doing a churchwide fast starting July 14th. This could not have come at a better time for me. As I have been learning firsthand - thanks to Pastors Heather and Mark and Romans 8 - my humanity is fundamentally at odds with what God is trying to do in my life. I need to fast and pray and hear from God. I think that the practice of fasting and being quiet gives God an opportunity to speak to me in ways that He would not otherwise have in my chaotic, over-committed, loud, and busy life.
Not sure what the take-away is here.......but I do know that there have been many, many times over the past month or so when I have said to myself "What would I do if I didn't have God?"
Seriously - what would I do if I didn't have God? Yes - the journey is intense and the surrender is hard, but without Him I would be without purpose, without mission, without vision....and without a host of other things.
So yeah- everybody has a breaking point, but God is there to redeem that brokenness, and I would rather be here than anywhere else.
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